Silence Is Golden But Duct Tape Is Silver
by Pikeru's Angel
Summary: Drabbles, one-shots, and songfics, oh my! Yes, I said songfics. You got a problem with that? Bite me. Flamers and constructive crit givers welcome! Seriously. Flame me. I enjoy fire.
1. Chapter 1: SIGBDTIS

**Disclaimer: Curses! Even after death threats, Eoin won't give me AF! Aw well. BACK TO FANFICTION!  
A/N DRABBLES! They're everywhere...! *eyes flicker***

_Silence is Golden, but duct tape is silver._

Holly listened to the paranoid genius in front of her drone on. He couldn't just get to the point, could he? He had to go on and on about whatever new fantastic invention he was about to give her. It got tiring after a while.

Her eyes wandered around the room aimlessly, hoping to find something interesting. Nothing was found. She subtly looked out the window behind his head. That entertainment lasted roughly two seconds. She was this close to going mad, but she would try not to.

Another sentence. Another boring, agonising sentence. For Frond's sake man, get to the bloody point! Her eye twitched in annoyance.

More jargon she didn't understand. In one ear and out the other, as the saying went. Her eyes scanned the room once more. A silver glint caught her eyes. Was that…? She wasn't aware the genius used the stuff.

She stood up, going over to the object and picking it up. She turned around, slowly, a look of malice filling her eyes.

Within two seconds the centaur had the oh so wonderful duct tape over his mouth. Holly sighed in relief.

"Silence is golden." She muttered, placing the precious silver on the table.

"Ah, but duct tape is silver, captain." A male voice said behind her. She whipped around to see none other than Trouble Kelp. "Now would you mind getting the duct tape off of Foaly's mouth?"


	2. Chapter 2: Love 'Tis a Cruel Mistress

_There's some things we don't talk about  
Rather do without  
And just hold the smile_

You talk to her, a warm smile adorning your usually placid face. She laughs at one of your jokes, a rare sound even to you even though you're always by her side. Your smile widens at the sweet sound and tears prick your eyes, but she doesn't notice. You open your mouth to say something, but it just comes out as a compliment on her eyes. She blushes slightly as you walk away, mentally slapping yourself for not saying what you mean to, again. A sigh escapes your lips and your face falls with the usual worry. "It can wait till tomorrow." You mutter, walking into your room.

_Falling in and out of love  
Ashamed and proud of  
Together all the while_

She slaps you after you kiss her cheek. She's ashamed of you again as he, the one who helped make all this happen, walks into the room. He gasps as you start to run down the hall, away from whatever's coming. She runs after you, faking anger. You just keep going.

_Queen of everything  
As far as the eye can see  
Under your command_

You rush out the door. Haven lies in ruins around you. You scowl. It's all hers, as far as you can see. Civilian's part like minnows to a shark as you pass. They recognise you. They don't want to be in the way of anyone directly connected to her. You turn your head, hoping not to see her. She's still following, calling your name. You ignore her and take a sharp turn into an alley way, knowing where it will lead. You look forward to your release once you get there.

_I will be your guardian  
When all is crumbling  
Steady your hand_

You promised her you would be her protector and remain by her side at all times, but right now you don't care. That was the last straw. It was time for it to end. Permanently.

_Falling in and out and again  
We're growing apart but we pull it together  
Pull it together, together again_

You slowly walk into the old LEP department. You're suddenly happy its abandoned because that means no one can find you. You go to the receptionist's desk and take the blade out of one of the drawers, holding it to your bare arms. Before you even realise what's happening you're covered with blood and are feeling light headed. Your hardly notice when she walks in, calling your name.

_Don't let me go  
Don't let me go  
Don't let me go_

You feel yourself crumble to the floor as blackness eats away at the corner of your vision. She sees and runs over. You can feel her grabbing your arms and trying to pull you up. "Mervall!" She shouts, shaking your shoulders. "Merv!" Tears stream down her face as your eyes begin to close.

"Opal," You whisper, collapsing in her warm grasp. "Don't let me go." Your eyes shut for the final time as you plunge into total darkness.


	3. Chapter 3: And That's Why

Artemis stared at the kitchen with something close to confusion. Juliet had, of course, pushed him over the edge. She had said that he couldn't cook to save his life, he had defended himself, and here he was. Now if he didn't succeed at making something simple -pasta- he would have to stay off the computer for a month. A _month!_ That was defiantly something he did not want to happen.

A scowl spread across his normally placid face as he reached for the cupboard and got out a pot. Why in God's name was he even doing this? "Damn pride." He muttered. He poured water into the pan quickly, then added the noodles. "Damn my pride to fires of hell."

He walked away for a second, just a second, to see if Juliet was watching when he heard the fire alarm. He turned sharply and stared. _I didn't know water could catch on fire._ Some small part of his subconscious said.

The fire spread to the counter when he realised what he was seeing. "Sh*t!" He yelled scrambling for the fire extinguisher. Why couldn't his mother keep it close to where it would actually used? Oh yes, because that would make sense!

Before he could find it a white foam shot from the doorway, onto himself as well as the fire. "Would you like a side of epic with that fail?" A certain sarcastic voice asked. "Don't answer that."

Artemis turned around the scowled at the blond before him. "And that's why I don't cook!"


	4. Chapter 4: One Game

_A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kickboxing!_

Juliet stared at the computer screen, her eyes twitching in annoyance. After the whole 'Artemis cooking fiasco' the genius had bet her she couldn't beat a computer at chess on the beginner level. If she couldn't she had to say bye bye to her current boyfriend for three months.

She pulled her fist back, ready to destroy the piece of technology, but stopped herself. One game. She just had to beat it at one game and she was in the clear.

A few calming breaths later, she was trying again. Trying, and failing. "Dangit!" She muttered, scowling at the screen.

Another try. Another loss.

This continued for a good twenty minutes before she completely lost it.

She placed the computer on a table nearby, smirking. Her body molded into the familiar fighting stance and she kicked. Not a normal round-house kick either, a full blown spinning hook kick. The computer lay in shatters by the wall where it crashed.

The blond sighed, turning around and going through the manor to go talk to the raven haired little devil.

She knocked, he answered. "Did you win?" He asked, voice sarcastic.

Juliet scowled. "Your computer beat me at chess," The genius opened his mouth, obviously going to gloat. Juliet raised a hand. "But it was no match for me at kickboxing."

Artemis' eyes widened and he bolted. Juliet laughed when she heard him shout her name. Who cared if she couldn't date for three months? Arty's reaction to a smashed computer was even better!


	5. Chapter 5: I Forgive You

_Always forgive your enemies. After all, nothing annoys them more._

Foaly barely suppressed the urge to hum happily to himself as he trotted through the halls of Howler's Peak. Barely. The centaur didn't have a death wish after all. He smiled almost contentedly (with a hint of smugness, of course) as he came to a certain pixie's cell door. A few LEP officers stood there, though Foaly quickly dismissed them so he and the pixie could talk in private. They obliged.

"So Opie," Foaly began, using her old nickname from when they had dated in college. Opal twitched. "You'll never guess why I'm here." He said in an almost (what almost?) taunting voice.

She scowled. "To rub my face in my failures, centaur?" She spit out the last word as though it were a particularly vile sin. "Or do you just enjoy watching me rot in prison?" Foaly stepped back, as though struck, a look of mock horror on his face.

A over exaggerated gasp escaped his lips. "Why of course not, Opie." Another twitch. "I just wanted to tell you something. It's really rather important you know." Opal scowled again, as though telling him to get to point before she suddenly cared less about her own safety and more about wringing his neck. Foaly sighed.

"I just wanted to say," His tone was almost serious. Almost is not was though. "I forgive you."

Opal almost screamed in rage, but contained herself. Instead, she just yelled out with her jaw dropping down to the floor. "What?!"

The familiar smug smile crossed over the centaur's long face and his golden eyes shown in delight. "I forgive you. For everything you've done, even killing Julius, I forgive you." Sincerity is such an easy thing to fake, wouldn't you agree? Foaly most certainly would.

She twitched again and snarled, clearly either enraged, annoyed, or an odd combination of both mixed in with a little bit of the need to destroy something right at that moment (preferably the centaur in front of her). Foaly decided it was most likely the latter of the three and decided to leave now before his head was impounded into one of the walls.

He smiled happily to himself as he made a quick escape. He loved the look on the pixie's face when he got her mad, he really did. "Is that normal?" He muttered to himself, and then shrugged. "Probably not. It's not like I give a D'Arvit though." He adjusted his tinfoil hat. "Who need normal when you have paranoia?"


	6. Chapter 6: Of Cellos

**A/N: It was random. *shrugs* What else can I say?**

Qwan had first heard it a little over three days ago; something sounding a bit like someone pressing as many keys as they can on an organ, ringing in his ears as it reverberated throughout the building. It had been keeping him up late at night that whole time, and he was still no closer to finding out what in the name of king Frond it was, though he had to admit, there seemed to be a tune going along with the horrid noise.

It was on that night that he finally followed the sound, curious and sleep deprived, to his pupils room. It was the loudest here, no doubt about it (his bleeding ears said so), but what wanted to know what it was and why, and he couldn't rightly figure that out without coming in, so he did.

It was, in fact, No1, playing some sort of Mud Man instrument. What was it called again? Ah yes, a cello.

"What in Haven's name are you doing boy?"

The attempted music stopped suddenly at the warlocks gravely tones and No1 stood hurriedly, placing the bow where he had been sitting. "Sorry!" He muttered with a slight cringe. "I-I didn't know I woke you!" Woke him? It was impossible to wake someone who was already up last time he'd checked. "I'll, err, stop now." The imp slowly reached for the bow again, handing it back to his teacher with a gloomy look on his face. He seemed to have enjoyed the instrument in the few seconds he'd seen him, and there was potential there. He just needed to work on it a bit.

Qwan gently took the boy from the imps hand before plopping him back on the stool he'd been using.

Qwan smiled slightly, placing the bow in the boys hand once more, placing his hand over it. "You need to draw out more power, or you'll never get the notes right." He said smoothly, moving the bow across the strings and a harmonious, golden noise seemed to come from it. No1 stared at his cello, then his teacher, than back to the cello.

"Did I really just do that?" The little imp asked, eyes wide in wonder.

Qwan nodded. "Yes. Now let's start working on that piece you were trying to play."


	7. Chapter 7: Him

**A/N: My first attempt at poetry. More to come.**

Dangerous,

Cunning,

Intelligent,

Deadly.

All words

Used to describe

_Him._

He stole

My heart.

My trust.

My faith

That people

Could truly change.

So why

Do I

Still love

_Him_?

There are others

Even better

Yet he

Still holds

The key

To my heart.

How?

I don't know.

All I know

Is that he

Captured me,

Gained my trust,

Stole my heart,

Broke my trust,

And I still love

_Him._


	8. Chapter 8: For Them

**A/N: More poetry and making your eyes bleed! Yay!**

Trying

To find

Myself.

It is

Not easy

When I

Have been lost

For so long,

But,

I have to,

For them.

They,

The ones

Who care,

Are who

I find

Myself

For.

My wife.

My son.

It is

For them.

this cold,

Cruel,

Criminal

Is not

Me.

They know it.

I know it.

Yet still

I can not

Find myself,

For them.

What if

I can not

Be found

Again?

What then?

I do

Not know.

All I know

Is that

I'm finding

Myself

Again

For Them.


	9. Chapter 9: Better With Time

**A/N: Well... Just be happy I'm not making your eyes bleed with more poetry, though I admit this isn't my best work. Curse you 2am plot bunnies that never fall asleep!**

When Artemis had first he had been… blank. It's not that he wasn't distraught! No, that would just come at a (ever so slightly) later time. But for the moment he was merely numb, not sure what to think or feel, just numb.

It had happened in class. The teacher had come back in after leaving the students to plan group projects. Artemis, of course, already had his completely planned out and now only needed to write it down and was at that moment re-reading a book on psychology. Needless to say most of the children who were 'lacking' in the brains department had come to him to ask to assistance. Most of them were now either waiting by the door sniffling to themselves or staring at the walls in shock.

The teacher, a man in his mid fifties with graying black hair, had called the young prodigy out of the classroom, saying the principal needed to talk to him. Artemis had snapped his book shut and followed the man out with an impassive stare, thinking it was probably something about him being moved up to a higher grade again. At his current rate he'd be at Bartleby's within the year, seeing as the next highest grade to go into was sixth, thus putting him at a middle school level and into the private school. He wasn't prepared for the information that met his ears.

"There's been… An accident." Were the principles starting words. "Your father's ship, it would seem, has sunk in the Arctic… Someone will be picking you up soon enough." The man had put a reassuring hand on the boys shoulder, trying not to flinch at the sudden death glare he was receiving. "I-I'm sorry for your loss.

Artemis had quickly shrugged the man off, almost violently as his jaw hardened. "I'm fine. I do not need your consoling." The boy's voice had shaken slightly, whether with rage of sadness no one would ever know, but remained steeled. He had then proceeded by sharply turning on his heel, ignoring any calls to come back, and went out the various doors needed to go to the front of the school.

It was only when he was outside the building, away from prying eyes, that a few, hard sobs wracked his slim shoulders as he collapsed on the sidewalk, not even caring about how it looked to the world. There was no one around, after all, so surely he would be able to cry in peace, without hearing his father's words about how 'Fowl men didn't cry'?

So the ten year old boy wept gently into his palms, tears falling onto his light blue shirt, staining the material. But he didn't care. How could he? His father, the man he looked up to, the man he had always been trying to gain the love and respect of, might have been dead. One of the few people in his life he actually cared about could have been floating in the cold waters of the Arctic right at that very moment, never to be seen again.

The sound of a car engine met his acute ears and he instantly perked, wiping his eyes with the back of his hand. He wasn't alone any more; he couldn't let his weakness show! No, father wouldn't approve. Even though he would never find out, that didn't matter; the voice was starting to form in the geniuses head, mocking him as every new tear fell down his pallid cheeks.

_Your weak boy, you know that?_ Sneered the tiny voice, sounding remarkably like a slightly younger version of himself. _Crying for the whole world to see! Daddy wouldn't be happy. But wait! _The voice gasped in fake astonishment. _He's not here anymore, is he? That doesn't change the fact that your nothing but a snot nosed little weakling, does it? No wonder he never-_

Artemis managed to shut off the voice, along with his own tears, as the Bentley pulled up in front of him. He was still shaking and his face was red from the brief but hard crying, but it was more than enough the moment he stepped in the car.

Butler looked back at his charge, his face a mixture of concern and disbelief. "Are-are you okay, Artemis?" he asked in his deep, gravely tones, the words not sounding quite right coming out of his mouth. The boy nodded, though it was clear he was not, but Butler didn't mention it. He just drove off, most likely faster than he probably should have, back to Fowl Manor.

After a few minutes of semi-awkward silence, Artemis spoke. "How is mother?" He bit his tongue as a few more tears fell, a coppery taste suddenly filling his mouth. There would be no more tears. He had to be strong, now more than ever. He was the head of the Fowl empire now, after all. If he broke it would crumble at his feet, which he couldn't let happen.

The manservant scowled, muttering a few profanities directed at the driver that had just flipped him off -with both hands, I might add- before hearing his charges question. "Distraught, but fine." He said as calmly as he could as another two people flipped him off in similar manners as the first. "I believe Juliet said she heard crashed from inside the room last time she checked on her, but she'll simmer down in a few hours most likely."

With that final statement the bodyguard rolled down the window and started shouting out something along the lines of 'get on your own ****ing side of the road, you moron!' to the driver beside him, who was just about to turn into his lane before realizing the Bentley was even _there_. Some people were bad drivers, some people were half blind, and some people were just idiots. In Butler's opinion, this man was a combination of all three.

Artemis chuckled slightly as butler fumed silently, keeping an eye on the driver, though it was a dry, humorless sound. It was funny, but he wasn't in a laughing mood. How could he be? But still his mood brightened, if only by a little bit.

Butler perked at the sound of Artemis' laugh. It was slightly choked with the tears he would most likely release once he was home, locked up in his room where no one could hear, but the hint of a smile now adorned the boys normally emotionless face, which meant his mask was shattered, for the moment. The bodyguard winced as the thought reverberated around his mind, making him swerve slightly. (That was five drivers now that were mad at him in case you weren't counting.) He hadn't seen his charge without that mask since before he was three.

"Are you sure you're okay?" Nothing. He checked the rearview mirror for a better look at his charge before asking, "Artemis, are you sure you're okay? It's fine not to be." The boy shook his head and Butler wasn't sure whether he was confirming or denying being fine.

Artemis went back to starring out the window when he was sure another question wouldn't be asked. He wasn't fine, but he'd sooner drop dead than actually _admit_ it. He'd be fine in the end. He just needed a little bit of time.


	10. Chapter 10: All in a Middle Name

**A/N: My first try at a true blue drabble, though I don't think I got it exactly. It's more like 110 words, not 100. *winces* So close. So very, very close. :(**

* * *

"Watson?!" She cried in disbelief. She could imagine it as something like Sherlock or maybe even Mycroft, but _Watson?!_

Artemis Watson Fowl II sighed. "Yes, Holly. Mother had hoped I would take after the fictional character my middle name was taken from." He shrugged. "Obviously I'm not exactly a replica of John H. Watson."

Holly nodded in agreement. If anything, the middle name was the least suited for the Mud Boy. He was, after all, obviously not a kind, caring individual who put all others before himself. Though the Doctor part was right, in a way. Moriarty might have better, now that she thought about it.


End file.
